The 3 Essential Components of Real Listening—The Ultimate Compliment

Networking is the best way to find jobs in the hidden job market. When you’re in job search and REALLY eager to find a new job, you may skip one of the keys to successfully networking so people remember you and refer jobs to you.

We are often so focused on our desire to get a job that we skip to our agenda, saying things like “If you hear about anything let me know” or “Do you know anyone who is hiring?”

It may seem counter-intuitive to finding a job quickly, but  the essential piece in networking is relationship.

One great way to build a relationship quickly on the phone and in person is to really listen.

Here are three easy ways you can do that. They let your networking contact know that you are listening and not just waiting for them to take a breath so you can jump in with your comments.

Think how much you enjoy being with someone who is really listening to you.

1. First, ask questions and make comments as appropriate. Let it be clear you want the conversation to continue, that you want more information. This lets the speaker feel free to continue talking and not worry about monopolizing the conversation. Even if they are, it’s best for you to have them do so.
2. Second, acknowledge their point of view. Repeat a few words that acknowledge what they say and how they feel.
3. Third, use these helpful phrases:  

“Tell me more” says you’re interested.

“I’m not sure I’m clear on that point” says you would like clarification.

“Can you give me an example of that?” is a way to get some specifics.

“That must have been a tough situation.” lets the speaker know you are empathetic. 

“What do you think will happen next?” is a way to let the speaker talk about the future.

“How did this happen?” lets the speaker give you the history of their topic.

 So pick someone to call, get your script out, and pick up the phone. If you don’t have your scripts yet, get your copy  here. 

Let me know how it is going, and never hesitate to give me a call if you have any questions.

Wishing you the best!

And of course, be sure to get this interview guide. Use it and your next interview could be your last interview!